Introverts, let’s talk! Sometimes it’s hard when you’re in a relationship and you just want that much needed me-time that we all crave! It’s even harder when your significant other thinks that it’s because you’re mad at them, sad about something, or don’t want to be around them for whatever reason. (Usually, it’s none of the above!) Hopefully introverts and extroverts alike can learn something from this post!
First of all: What’s an Introvert?
An introvert is someone who is easily drained by being around a lot of people or interacting with a lot of people for a long period of time. Extended periods of socializing and being in public places takes energy AWAY from the introvert, leaving them feeling drained or exhausted. An introvert will gain their energy back by having an extended period of “alone” time (also known as recharging.)
An extrovert is the EXACT opposite. An extrovert feels drained by being ALONE for long periods of time, and needs to be recharged by being around people and socializing.
FYI: Being introverted doesn’t always mean you’re shy or bashful. Introverted people are often perceived this way, especially around people they just met because they “live in their head”.
The introvert doesn’t usually feel drained by their significant other (I don’t) but other social settings, such as parties, sporting events, concerts and mixers may leave them feeling drained when it’s time for the couple to have fun.
With that being said .. here are a few things to remember when dating an introvert:
It’s not you, it’s me. really applies here. No, I’m not mad or angry, I just need to charge from the insane football game we went to yesterday.
I like spontaneity but I’ll be a happier camper most of the time if I have notice that we are doing something later.
No, but seriously, I’m down for impromptu plans. But, I’m going to have to recharge at some point today.
Cancelled plans are an introvert’s dream. So, I’m really not mad that we couldn’t make it to the big party. Let’s just watch Netflix instead.
HOW TO DATE AS AN INTROVERT.
Deal, sometimes. I mean, I’m an introvert and I get it, but sometimes you’re just going to have to fake the funk at your significant other’s company party or whatever the case. The “I’m an introvert” thing works sometimes, but it shouldn’t always be your “excuse”!. Most of the time, the events aren’t THAT bad, and if you open to them, they’re actually fun!
Pre-plan Me-Time: If you know that y’all are going to be somewhere that has the potential to be super draining, try to get the me-time in before the event instead of after. That way, you’ll feel more in control of the situation when five people are in your face later than night and you have to fake the extroverted charm!
Meet in the middle! Talk it out and meet in the middle in some situations (leave certain parties early, compromise some of your recharge-time for that big event, etc). Find things to do that involve socializing on some days of the week, and have a couple’s night in watching netflix and eating pizza other nights of the week.
Remember, there is nothing wrong with being an introvert or an extrovert. If you’re one who dates the other, it’s probably the differences in their personality that attracted you to them in the first place. Opposites work well together!
Are you an introvert dating an extrovert or vice-versa? Do you have any extra advice to add? Let me know! xoxo
ALSO SEE: An introvert in a pageant?